Peter was a hyperactive 7 year old child. He was disruptive and aggressive. He attended a Special Education school and was taking “Ritalin”. This helped him attain some kind of normalcy in his behaviour. In addition it enabled him to learn.
However Peter could not always control his behaviour and often times there were outbursts in the house. His Mother explained this to the children. She said she understood it might be embarrassing for them, especially in the presence of company. She gave them a book from the library to read, on the subject of “hyperactivity”. This proved to be an extremely useful aid for them. The book had a wealth of information, and advice.To the younger children Peter’s Mother gently explained Peter’s problem in a general way. She encouraged them to try not to provoke him and to be nice to him.
Parents have to realize that their special needs child is part of a whole family and just like she needs special attention and help to cope with her unique challenges, the other siblings also need help to deal and cope with their feelings of embarrassment, anger and fear. If these issues are not dealt with it they could grow up with low self esteem, pent up anger and difficulties to express their emotions.
Children can be explained certain facts about the special-needs sibling, in accordance with their level of maturity. Younger children can be spoken to in a more general manner, whilst older children should be given more information about the nature of the problem. Siblings should feel free to discuss any worries or doubts that bother them. This will help them maintain their self-esteem.
Siblings must understand their special-needs brother/sister encounters difficulties in many areas. They have to work on coming to terms with their feelings so that there should be a positive, constructive, productive home atmosphere. Parents should spend time talking to their children. If necessary, discussions should take place with each child separately and as often as required.
The parents should help the siblings of a special needs child:
To work on their feelings of embarrassment. To be accepting of situations that are difficult. To see the importance of helping in a the house more than their friends help in their houses.
To tackle points 1 and 2, explain your child that life’s situations are mostly not within our control. What is within our control is our attitude to life’s ups and downs. If we view a situation positively, as an opportunity to grow and become better human beings, we will be happier people. If we cannot change a situation, we must accept it. Focus on being positive and thinking positively.
Practical tips for siblings:
Don’t insist on having the last word, even if you are intelligent enough to win all arguments. Don’t insist on having your way, even if you are sure you are right. Try to keep slightly low-key about your accomplishments, when your special-needs sibling is around. Try to help out with whatever you can, to help alleviate the burden. Be encouraging and supportive to the other siblings. Above all, cultivate a positive attitude.
Harmony in the home is vital to ensure all children grow up well adjusted and with healthy self-esteem. This produces happy relationships to the benefit of all family members.
By: Shevach Pepper
Posts Tagged ‘Doubts’
To Teach is to Touch a Life Forever
January 29th, 2010
Many of my clients tell me I need to work for the Department of Education to encourage people to become teachers. Since I am so passionate about my teaching and I think it is the best job ever, they think I can convince any person, even those who do not like children, to shift to education.
I have my doubts about convincing any person, but I am sure that being an educator is the best job ever.
When I work with my clients on Needs and we get to the stage where they understand the need to make a difference in the world, I understand again why a teacher fulfills this need every time he or she goes to work.
Unfortunately, many people think that teachers are a conduit of knowledge. They take knowledge from one side, chew it and hand it to the students in an easy way. Teachers, on the other hand, see their work in a more purposeful way. To them, teaching is a facilitation of change. Teachers are there to help their students grow and evolve. They are there to help their students design their identity by learning.
For a teacher, teaching another grammar point or another math concept is nowhere near the excitement and fulfilment of teaching to develop a positive attitude or good habits. You see, it is hard to make a difference in the world by teaching multiplication, but easy by teaching ways to learn. It is hard to make a difference by teaching to read, but easy when the reading is about friendship. For teachers, knowledge is only a tool to teach attitude.
We learn math not to be able to go to the supermarket, but to be able to stimulate our thinking. We learn to read not to be able to sign a document but to be able to read about love, excitement, motivation and characters. We learn science not to be able to get great grades but to appreciate the world around us.
Teachers have that in mind every time they get up in the morning and pack their lunch to go to work. Their students’ well-being and education is far more important to them than the grades on their report card.
I am not my kids’ teacher at school and I told them from the first day they went to school, “I wish you a teacher that recognizes his or her profession as a mission. I wish you a teacher who will help you carve who you are and will stay in your memory as someone who meant a lot to you and was there to love you and help you be the person you wanted to be”.
I consider myself lucky, because I have been touched by many teachers, especially when I studied special education. The years when I was deeply inspired by those who define edcuation as a tool to change the world.
Remember that your child’s education is much more than the grades on his or her report card and look for those teachers who are there with the vision of touching your child forever.
By: Ronit Baras
