Communication with parents is one of the most difficult challenges a new teacher will face. The student teaching experience doe not adequately prepare new teachers for parental interaction and certainly does not prepare new teachers for the difficult parents.
Difficult parents are everywhere in every school district in every location of this country. Of course, you will run across the supportive parents, but the difficult ones will require some extra effort on mastering communications. Mastering the art of interacting with difficult parents means your first year of teaching will be a lot less stressful.
Here are a few survival tips on communication with difficult parents:
Listen Attentively
Event the most unreasonable parent wants to be heard. If a parent is berating you, respond in a manner that indicates you heard what they said. Calmly use comments like, “so, you are angry” or, “I understand why you feel that way, but….” Do this in a calm tone of voice and then listen to what happens to the parent’s tone of voice. In most cases, you will find the parent backing down.
Do Not Argue
Do not argue with an angry parent because this will send the message that the parent can push your buttons and that you are easy to control. As frustrated as you may be, maintain a calm tone of voice and you will find this will neutralize the situation rather quickly.
Do Not Accuse
Whatever you do, never accuse a parent of anything. You may be tempted to do this when dealing with the enabling parent who expects you to do everything for their child to the point where the child is no longer making an effort. State your case in a calm tone of voice and set specific boundaries that indicate where the teaching accommodation ends and the child must take responsibility.
Expect Respect
As much as you may not want to, respect the difficult parent and insist that they respect you in return. If the parent continues to be verbally abusive, remain silent and walk away, or suggest they return at another time when they can talk to you in a civil manner.
Maintain Eye Contact
Make sure you are eye level with the parent and do not hide behind any structural object during the interaction. This will send the message to the parent that you are not intimidated by the situation and you are confident in who you are and what you do.
Be Silent
A difficult parent is usually one who thrives on exerting power over others. If you react in the same manner, you are fueling the fire and further aggravating the situation. Remaining silent to their attacks is like denying a fire the air it needs to thrive; it will weaken the flame as well as deny the parent the attention they seek.
Remember that as a first year teacher you still have rights not to be treated as the rookie. In addition, your well being is essential to the success of what will be the most stressful year of your career.
By: J.C. Sprenger
Posts Tagged ‘Student Teaching’
Tips on Communicating With Difficult Parents
March 10th, 2010How to Compose a Welcome Letter to Prospective Students & Parents
January 30th, 2010
Many questions come to the mind of a first year teacher when trying to compose a letter to students and parents. Sometimes the fear of acceptance comes into play, as well as a host of other apprehensions about entering the profession with very little experience.
Everyone has to start somewhere, so the best way to begin composing your introduction letter is to make note of your attributes as a person, your education and achievements, your mission as a teacher, and your classroom goals and expectations.
Keep in mind that parents like to know that their child is entering a structured setting in the classroom with a person who is competent in their field of expertise and capable of nurturing their child’s success.
Set a Friendly Tone to Your Letter
A person’s perception of another can easily be detected through words. Begin your introduction in a friendly tone that makes the parent and student feel welcome and reflects their well being as your first priority. Refrain from talking about yourself until after you have communicated your concerns for the parent and student. This will convey the message that their well being comes before you.
Convey Your Achievements with Confidence
As a first year teacher, you may think that your resume seems like an empty page that needs to be filled. Perhaps you will feel that your achievements are minute when compared to other teachers.
If you really take a look at your achievements up until the point of your first teaching position, you will be surprised to find a number that will add credibility to your introduction letter. These could be achievements like awards you have received, previous community involvements, academic recognitions, and special achievements during your student teaching experience.
Convey your educational background and achievements with confidence without exemplifying arrogance. This will send a message that although this is your first teaching position, you are confident with who you are, your abilities, and what you have achieved. Additionally, it will help to relieve any doubts or fears in the minds of the students and parents that they are about to face instability in the classroom due to your lack of experience.
Add a personal touch to your achievements by mentioning some of your hobbies and interests. This will also break the ice when you meet your students and their parents for the first time.
Discuss Your Classroom Goals and Mission
Briefly discuss what you plan to achieve in the classroom during the coming year and the learning environment you plan to provide in your classroom. This also tells students and parents what to expect and helps to relieve any apprehension associated with the first week of school. Your students will also feel as though they already know something about you when they enter your room and will feel more comfortable about their first day of school.
Also include a list of items your students will need to have in hand when they arrive in your classroom. This will also convey the message that you have a goal and a purpose in mind when it comes to learning.
Close the letter with a statement of your mission as a teacher and what you plan to offer the students and community during your first year of teaching.
By: J.C. Sprenger
